This was a pre-L’Oreal Melbourne Fashion Festival (LMFF) word of warning, issued by a seasoned fashion pal over dinner in our good natured shire of Brisbane. But surely, I argued, my genetically round face would give off “wholesome, well-fed country girl vibes” as it bobbed enthusiastically in the LMFF press room. If I wore Bigeni to the Bigeni show like a good fashion girl should, then I’d be back-slappin’ and sipping G & T’s with the fashion pack quicker than you can say instagram selfie.
Social interactions and selfies aside, I was there for the fashion, sent hurtling down the runway in a mind trip of dubstep, SLR flash fires and the rustle of bloggers rifling through gift bags. In honour of LMFF 2012, here’s my list of top fashion friends and trends:
FRIEND #1 - Black Clipboard
Contrary to moralistic parenting policies, respect can be bought – for $2 down at your local Officeworks. The humble black clipboard allows you to clip stuff to it, tap your fingers in an air of self-importance and essentially, exert more seating allocation power than a Mongolian war lord.
FRIEND #2 – Spare Change
Invest in public transport. Yeah, you’re a shit-hot fare evader in your Rick Owens cape, but the ticket inspector just fined you the equivalent RRP of your pre-ordered AW ‘12 man-skirt. Isn’t it ironic.
FREIND #3 - Quick Unpick
I don’t know if the D.I.Y embellishment trend is a lingering bi-product of the GFC or if it’s a thing now - because all my favourite designers were in on it. Therese Rawsthorne and Ellery championed the thigh high split skirt, while LMFF National Designer Award recipient Christopher Esber included add-ons: leather trims and furry sleeves. Magdalena Velevska also challenged conventions with the insertion of buttock baring sheer fabric, perfect for the Sunday sermon or a corporate job interview.
FRIEND #4 – Orthaheel Sandals
I still haven’t regained feeling in four of my toes, so I do sympathise with the models at the centre of the over-hyped ‘shoe disaster’. The media storm began when four models peeled off their pumps mid-walk and ended with lazy journalists who couldn’t fault anything else from Dion Lee’s showing.
FRIEND #5 – Budget Airfares
The fact that I was probably going to die on my flight home only increased my sense of urgency to fast-track my fashion career. Networking became a progressively fearless, adrenaline pumping activity - so do yourself a favour and invest in an airline death wish like I did.
Finally, as easy as it is for me to rattle off the objects of my materialistic affections, it was the creative and inspiring human attendees who made my fashion week most memorable. I’ll skip the slimy name-dropping and instead finish with the source of some Brisbane LMFF pride: Limedrop’s Independent show and Sally Edwards collection ‘Girls and Boys are Choice’.